It’s hard to believe it’s been nearly four weeks since life changed dramatically for us — Brenda’s disappearance and the church “shakeup”. I wake up in the morning and hope that it’s all been just one big nightmare and that everything is back to normal. But that’s not the case. It was all real.
“Normal” has taken on a whole new meaning now. The things we took for granted no longer exist. The routines of yesterday are replaced by wondering what will happen next. Family. Friends. Schedules. Activities. All have changed. They will never be the same again.
I sit at work, and life does on. I have no motivation, but colleagues are doing the same things they always did — working on programs and systems, planning out projects, researching problems (and playing xBox at lunch and talking UFC). At home and in the community people are shovelling their walks, delivering mail, shopping, making dinner plans, going bowling, seeing movies, watching TV.
I know that’s what needs to be done — life must go on — but somehow it all seems meaningless. I feel like “the Teacher” in Ecclesiastes 1 …
“Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”
… and yet I know that God is in control. He will bring good out of all that has happened. He will be there for us in the future. He will set us up into a new “normal”. Life will go on.
And because of our hope in Christ, He has promised that He has come to give us life abundant. If only we put our trust in Him.
TTFN
Your thoughts and feelings right now are indeed normal. Grief really is a gift from God. If we choose to accept it and work our way through it, we will come out of it as stronger and and healthier human beings (Ecclesiastes 3:11 He has made everything beautiful in its time). Maybe due to this you will one day be able to walk alongside someone else who has suffered the same kind of loss and they will know you truly understand. That will be an incredible gift to be able to give.
Hang in there!